I am not sure which is worst being ill or getting into an anxiety state about been ill. Similarly getting in to an anxiety state about waiting is worse than just having to wait. Obviously it depends on each situation, the background and surrounding circumstances if this ie normal or not, or if it is how one learns to cope or not. It was once my privilege to know a man who had at first sight very different political views to my own in that he was a leading politician in a different party to the one which I supported. I was asked to make the accommodation arrangements for him at a conference which involve the provision of a bed board. At the conference I checked that the hotel had provided the item. He expressed his gratitude as without the provision he found it difficult to sleep. A political colleague of his who was present told me later that that the man had been wounded during World War Two, nearly three decades before and that even with the bed board he did not have a night pass without interruption. He got on with life devoting much of his time in public service, political and in other ways.
I think of him whenever I get into a panic about something being physically wrong with me, such as my need to get up several times during the night and have done so for years so that I no longer remember what it is like to sleep without interruption on a regular basis. However sometimes I just cannot cope as well as I should. The previous occasion to the present one occurred I fell in the shop after missing a step and banged my face against a metal display shelf cutting my nose, and was taken to hospital for a check and was kept there for over four hours to ensure there was no delayed reaction, having explained to shopkeeper that I lived on my own when he wanted to contact someone, and has passed this information on to the paramedic on their arrival.
I had just popped out for a newspaper the shop a few yards from where I live, and only then decided to take the detour to see what a new local store had to offer which I had spotted only spotted a day or two before had opened. I had only cash with me, no phone, no credit cards, no note book and pen, no reading material to occupy my mind and I could not be certain that I had closed and locked the front door behind me as I left. I was as concerned about this as I was about the fall, although I suspect it would have become less of a concern if I had something to occupy my attention other than my own physical condition. I got myself into quite an agitated state about the situation which at the time I knew was unrelated to the significance of my position. I was upset about being upset.
I have just recovered from going out in the car to the post box instead of walking. Although it was only spitting rain as I left the house, it had fallen hard earlier and I was in no mood to struggle back up the hill against wind and driving rain. It proved a great decision because as I approached the back lane on the return journey there was one of the most violent hail storms, I have experienced and a foretaste of what was to happen later. The noise of the small pieces of ice was deafening as they beat down on the garage roof. The evening ferry was on its way again across the North Sea, brilliantly lit up as before, but tonight there was no wanting to be away and I did not envy them their journey. I was reminded of the boat trip from New York to Southampton England. In Brideshead Revisited when having paid a fortune to travel first class the passengers spent one of their precious days being tossed for side to side, and made sick by the storm and then used the following day in recovery. I thought of Brideshead this morning as I posted the first 40 photos of my time in Oxford City. I hoped to complete the 101 during the rest of the day but it was not to be as I succumbed to a stupor of inactivity and eating, nothing at first except tea, going out to Staples for glitter glue and the plastic pockets, Morrison's for petrol down to 95 a litre from 105 and then into the store for vegetables, deciding to try some smaller size light bulbs as continuing to have problems with the central light fixture, two cartons of shell on prawns, fancied a cream apple turn over- or two, their salami was also better priced, some barbecue sauce and mustard salad dressing, stir fry sauces, some cuppa soups and pot noodles, and the main focus of the visit some cards, but other items I preferred to wait for Asda on my way home. Here I forgot the grapes but got three more packs of sweets for Halloween gifts, a couple more small tins of veg, some small inexpensive single portions of noodles, some mustard pickle, and the main purpose of the call some individual portion of steamed fresh frozen vegetables and three small frozen ready made pasta dishes. It was 2 pm and I enjoyed a cuppa soup with a slice of bread, then at regular intervals the fresh prawns with a cup of tea, a slice of toast with anchovies and more tea, a small dish of olives studded with garlic and a glass of red wine, a nice piece of steak, modest in size with a side dish of filled pasta shells, no sauces, two plums and a pear, and eight mixed toffees, forgetting the cream apple puff turnovers. These, that is both of them formed my supper. During the afternoon I half watched some films but as nothing engaged, and sleeping, dropping off when I sat, in short stretches, waking feeling worse on each occasion. It was proving an unproductive day.
The Chancellor made a statement which paved the way for the Bank of England to reduce interest rates if it wished and the news revealed that senator Obama is taking nothing for granted and rightly concentrated on pressing voters to turn out. Bill Clinton put in an appearance reminding the votes that they prospered under is watch and leaving Monicagate to history. Both candidates are struggling to find something to ignite their respective campaigns in their dying embers. There is something undemocratic in that Obama felt the need and had the means to, some half a billion dollars, to buy half an hour of prime time TV to put his case to the USA people. This is another form of buying votes and suggests an illiterate electorate who cannot make up their mind on the respective policies and legislative and spending plans. But it also suggests the opposite and that the majority of floating or uncommitted voters understand that both of the major candidates have presented a mixture of policies and plans, some of which they agree with and some they do not and that the system is such that, especially the nature of the global economy that whatever is promised or hoped for, who ever wins will be governed by circumstances outside their direct control and that what really matters is the judgement about how which man and which team will handle the decision taking required on a daily basis as well as the major crisis at 2 am.
I am still not sure from the information available how Senator Obama will react except that he has sure led an effective election campaign. He appears to be a winner even if this has been largely media created and based on his charisma. Once the hustings are over he may well have the ability to unite most Americans behind their government. He suggests a man who will listen to advice as well as trusting in his own judgement and in this respect he has Senator Biden on hand a man who would make a good President in his own right.
I also understand that Senator McCain and his campaign managers decided early on to emphasise his difference with the Bush administration because of their unpopularity with the uncommitted voters and coined the concept that being a Maverick was a goof thing and then redesigned Governor Palin in the same mould as well as emphasing her gun toting right wingness to appeal to the conservatives, unhappy with the left wing presentation of McCain. I agree with Professor Roy Schama on the Any Question team that she also has charisma and is likely to be a major political force over the next four years possibly as she learns positions and builds up support to run in her right in four years time, presumably with the campaign for party nomination having to start in two years time. He or someone on the Washington Panel suggested she would be given a prime TV slot, presumably with Fox news or such like. However she may be haunted by the positions being adopted over the past couple of months to ever appeal to majority of what is an immigrant and aspirational nation. My problem with the international delight that someone of mixed race background being president is that no where in sight is a native American.
The main news headline throughout the day was that Russell Brand had resigned his BBC contract and Jonathan Ross offered a full apology, desperately trying to save his job as the BBC's top earner. Later the controller of BBC 2 fell on her axe and Ross was suspended for three months on no pay. We shall see if this satisfies the blood seekers. The facts have began to emerge that only a couple of people complained about the comments made on the programme within the first few days and that the escalation to some thirty thousand was engineered via the media, newspaper internet axis and with most newspaper only being sold these days because of giveaways. The truth is that Russell Brand is only employed because he is outrageous and has a notorious private life. His appeal is to the young. I strongly believe that this pandering to the worst aspects and instincts of human nature in order o gain market share or make money or both is morally indefensible and socially disastrous. While it is good that the present generation of new voters and economic producers are creative and competitive, questioning what has gone before I am also certain it is disastrous if they grow up with a knowledge of what has gone before and without respect for the generation of their parents and grandparents.
It was easy for Russell Brand to resign from his BBC radio show as he has his Channel four TV show, which was showing later on Thursday evening. Jonathon Ross is BBC's flagship personality and they would have no wish to make it easy for him to jump over to independent TV. Although his contribution to the Brand show was equally obnoxious he was a guest on the show and rightly criticism has to also fall on those in the BBC management who vetted and approved the pre-recorded programme. There is something worrying that affairs took precedence over the economy.
Wednesday evening I watched the last released film, and perhaps the darkest made, in the Harry Potter series, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix in which more of the grand design is revealed. It is also an episode in the overall plan where there is need for continuity in characters and retention of previous information. While his friends Emily Watson and Rupert Frint are there in support this is a film about Harry in a stronger way than all others.
The core of the film is the return of the Dark Lord Voldemort and the prophecy that he and one other cannot coexist and one must die for the other to be supreme. It is possible that one other individual fit's the description of the counterweight figure but the dark Lord is taking no chances and the film begins Harry, and the son of his relatives are attacked by killer spirits and the only way for Harry to survive is to use a magic spell whose use is forbidden outside of school.
The sub plot is that the Minister of Magic does not believe in the return of the Dark One as suggested by the head of Hogwarts Albus Dumbledore and he sees the school head as a rival and threat to his position and presses for Harry to be expelled. When this battle is lost he appoint someone to over see the running of the school and who changes the curriculum in such a way that the young people can only study magic but cannot practice./. We learn that Professor Dumbledore has been preparing for this situation from the outset and the reason why he placed and continued to ensure that Harry spent his holidays with his obnoxious relatives is that blood relations offer special protection against the power of the Dark One. He even employs Severus Slack (Alan Rickman) Harry's regular opponent, to help toughen his mind against the ordeal to come. Ralph Fiennes plays Lord Voldemort. Helena Bonham Crater is brought in as Bella Lesstrange the right hand death eater of the Dark one. Katie Leung is also brought in as the girl with on Harry has his first kiss in the Room of requirement, that his first kiss on screen, and not just in the Room of Requirement! Surely Harry and Emily Watson who plays Hermione Granger will get it together in the end? Imelda Staunton is brought in to play Dolores Umbridge the new defence against the arts teacher and plant from the Ministry of Magic on behalf of the Minister Cornelius Fudge played by Robert Hardy, Richard Griffiths continues play his obnoxious Uncle
Maggie Smith plays Minerva McGonagall and Julie Walters -. Molly Weasley . Garry Oldman is his Godfather and Michael Gambon, Professor Dumbledore, Emma Thompson, Sybil Trelawney and Robert Coltrane as Rebus Hagrid. There are some 90 actors listed, with most major established before or as a consequence of the this series of films with two more to go. It is this strength in depth that makes not just individual characters believable but the whole concept together with the best technicians money can buy. While Lord of the Rings developed and maintained the New Zealand film industry for half a decade, Harry Potter is doing likewise for the British but spread over more than a decade. The end of film battle between Dumbledore and the Darn One is spectacular and Harry survives to fight on another day, even if the outcome was never in any doubt. I might even go and see the sixth in cinema when it opens this Christmas, although after the children go back to school and on a quiet January afternoon, although I am not tempted by the latest James Bond which Kermode and Mayo say is a great disappointment.
I went to bed comparatively early at just after one am waiting for news.
I think of him whenever I get into a panic about something being physically wrong with me, such as my need to get up several times during the night and have done so for years so that I no longer remember what it is like to sleep without interruption on a regular basis. However sometimes I just cannot cope as well as I should. The previous occasion to the present one occurred I fell in the shop after missing a step and banged my face against a metal display shelf cutting my nose, and was taken to hospital for a check and was kept there for over four hours to ensure there was no delayed reaction, having explained to shopkeeper that I lived on my own when he wanted to contact someone, and has passed this information on to the paramedic on their arrival.
I had just popped out for a newspaper the shop a few yards from where I live, and only then decided to take the detour to see what a new local store had to offer which I had spotted only spotted a day or two before had opened. I had only cash with me, no phone, no credit cards, no note book and pen, no reading material to occupy my mind and I could not be certain that I had closed and locked the front door behind me as I left. I was as concerned about this as I was about the fall, although I suspect it would have become less of a concern if I had something to occupy my attention other than my own physical condition. I got myself into quite an agitated state about the situation which at the time I knew was unrelated to the significance of my position. I was upset about being upset.
I have just recovered from going out in the car to the post box instead of walking. Although it was only spitting rain as I left the house, it had fallen hard earlier and I was in no mood to struggle back up the hill against wind and driving rain. It proved a great decision because as I approached the back lane on the return journey there was one of the most violent hail storms, I have experienced and a foretaste of what was to happen later. The noise of the small pieces of ice was deafening as they beat down on the garage roof. The evening ferry was on its way again across the North Sea, brilliantly lit up as before, but tonight there was no wanting to be away and I did not envy them their journey. I was reminded of the boat trip from New York to Southampton England. In Brideshead Revisited when having paid a fortune to travel first class the passengers spent one of their precious days being tossed for side to side, and made sick by the storm and then used the following day in recovery. I thought of Brideshead this morning as I posted the first 40 photos of my time in Oxford City. I hoped to complete the 101 during the rest of the day but it was not to be as I succumbed to a stupor of inactivity and eating, nothing at first except tea, going out to Staples for glitter glue and the plastic pockets, Morrison's for petrol down to 95 a litre from 105 and then into the store for vegetables, deciding to try some smaller size light bulbs as continuing to have problems with the central light fixture, two cartons of shell on prawns, fancied a cream apple turn over- or two, their salami was also better priced, some barbecue sauce and mustard salad dressing, stir fry sauces, some cuppa soups and pot noodles, and the main focus of the visit some cards, but other items I preferred to wait for Asda on my way home. Here I forgot the grapes but got three more packs of sweets for Halloween gifts, a couple more small tins of veg, some small inexpensive single portions of noodles, some mustard pickle, and the main purpose of the call some individual portion of steamed fresh frozen vegetables and three small frozen ready made pasta dishes. It was 2 pm and I enjoyed a cuppa soup with a slice of bread, then at regular intervals the fresh prawns with a cup of tea, a slice of toast with anchovies and more tea, a small dish of olives studded with garlic and a glass of red wine, a nice piece of steak, modest in size with a side dish of filled pasta shells, no sauces, two plums and a pear, and eight mixed toffees, forgetting the cream apple puff turnovers. These, that is both of them formed my supper. During the afternoon I half watched some films but as nothing engaged, and sleeping, dropping off when I sat, in short stretches, waking feeling worse on each occasion. It was proving an unproductive day.
The Chancellor made a statement which paved the way for the Bank of England to reduce interest rates if it wished and the news revealed that senator Obama is taking nothing for granted and rightly concentrated on pressing voters to turn out. Bill Clinton put in an appearance reminding the votes that they prospered under is watch and leaving Monicagate to history. Both candidates are struggling to find something to ignite their respective campaigns in their dying embers. There is something undemocratic in that Obama felt the need and had the means to, some half a billion dollars, to buy half an hour of prime time TV to put his case to the USA people. This is another form of buying votes and suggests an illiterate electorate who cannot make up their mind on the respective policies and legislative and spending plans. But it also suggests the opposite and that the majority of floating or uncommitted voters understand that both of the major candidates have presented a mixture of policies and plans, some of which they agree with and some they do not and that the system is such that, especially the nature of the global economy that whatever is promised or hoped for, who ever wins will be governed by circumstances outside their direct control and that what really matters is the judgement about how which man and which team will handle the decision taking required on a daily basis as well as the major crisis at 2 am.
I am still not sure from the information available how Senator Obama will react except that he has sure led an effective election campaign. He appears to be a winner even if this has been largely media created and based on his charisma. Once the hustings are over he may well have the ability to unite most Americans behind their government. He suggests a man who will listen to advice as well as trusting in his own judgement and in this respect he has Senator Biden on hand a man who would make a good President in his own right.
I also understand that Senator McCain and his campaign managers decided early on to emphasise his difference with the Bush administration because of their unpopularity with the uncommitted voters and coined the concept that being a Maverick was a goof thing and then redesigned Governor Palin in the same mould as well as emphasing her gun toting right wingness to appeal to the conservatives, unhappy with the left wing presentation of McCain. I agree with Professor Roy Schama on the Any Question team that she also has charisma and is likely to be a major political force over the next four years possibly as she learns positions and builds up support to run in her right in four years time, presumably with the campaign for party nomination having to start in two years time. He or someone on the Washington Panel suggested she would be given a prime TV slot, presumably with Fox news or such like. However she may be haunted by the positions being adopted over the past couple of months to ever appeal to majority of what is an immigrant and aspirational nation. My problem with the international delight that someone of mixed race background being president is that no where in sight is a native American.
The main news headline throughout the day was that Russell Brand had resigned his BBC contract and Jonathan Ross offered a full apology, desperately trying to save his job as the BBC's top earner. Later the controller of BBC 2 fell on her axe and Ross was suspended for three months on no pay. We shall see if this satisfies the blood seekers. The facts have began to emerge that only a couple of people complained about the comments made on the programme within the first few days and that the escalation to some thirty thousand was engineered via the media, newspaper internet axis and with most newspaper only being sold these days because of giveaways. The truth is that Russell Brand is only employed because he is outrageous and has a notorious private life. His appeal is to the young. I strongly believe that this pandering to the worst aspects and instincts of human nature in order o gain market share or make money or both is morally indefensible and socially disastrous. While it is good that the present generation of new voters and economic producers are creative and competitive, questioning what has gone before I am also certain it is disastrous if they grow up with a knowledge of what has gone before and without respect for the generation of their parents and grandparents.
It was easy for Russell Brand to resign from his BBC radio show as he has his Channel four TV show, which was showing later on Thursday evening. Jonathon Ross is BBC's flagship personality and they would have no wish to make it easy for him to jump over to independent TV. Although his contribution to the Brand show was equally obnoxious he was a guest on the show and rightly criticism has to also fall on those in the BBC management who vetted and approved the pre-recorded programme. There is something worrying that affairs took precedence over the economy.
Wednesday evening I watched the last released film, and perhaps the darkest made, in the Harry Potter series, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix in which more of the grand design is revealed. It is also an episode in the overall plan where there is need for continuity in characters and retention of previous information. While his friends Emily Watson and Rupert Frint are there in support this is a film about Harry in a stronger way than all others.
The core of the film is the return of the Dark Lord Voldemort and the prophecy that he and one other cannot coexist and one must die for the other to be supreme. It is possible that one other individual fit's the description of the counterweight figure but the dark Lord is taking no chances and the film begins Harry, and the son of his relatives are attacked by killer spirits and the only way for Harry to survive is to use a magic spell whose use is forbidden outside of school.
The sub plot is that the Minister of Magic does not believe in the return of the Dark One as suggested by the head of Hogwarts Albus Dumbledore and he sees the school head as a rival and threat to his position and presses for Harry to be expelled. When this battle is lost he appoint someone to over see the running of the school and who changes the curriculum in such a way that the young people can only study magic but cannot practice./. We learn that Professor Dumbledore has been preparing for this situation from the outset and the reason why he placed and continued to ensure that Harry spent his holidays with his obnoxious relatives is that blood relations offer special protection against the power of the Dark One. He even employs Severus Slack (Alan Rickman) Harry's regular opponent, to help toughen his mind against the ordeal to come. Ralph Fiennes plays Lord Voldemort. Helena Bonham Crater is brought in as Bella Lesstrange the right hand death eater of the Dark one. Katie Leung is also brought in as the girl with on Harry has his first kiss in the Room of requirement, that his first kiss on screen, and not just in the Room of Requirement! Surely Harry and Emily Watson who plays Hermione Granger will get it together in the end? Imelda Staunton is brought in to play Dolores Umbridge the new defence against the arts teacher and plant from the Ministry of Magic on behalf of the Minister Cornelius Fudge played by Robert Hardy, Richard Griffiths continues play his obnoxious Uncle
Maggie Smith plays Minerva McGonagall and Julie Walters -. Molly Weasley . Garry Oldman is his Godfather and Michael Gambon, Professor Dumbledore, Emma Thompson, Sybil Trelawney and Robert Coltrane as Rebus Hagrid. There are some 90 actors listed, with most major established before or as a consequence of the this series of films with two more to go. It is this strength in depth that makes not just individual characters believable but the whole concept together with the best technicians money can buy. While Lord of the Rings developed and maintained the New Zealand film industry for half a decade, Harry Potter is doing likewise for the British but spread over more than a decade. The end of film battle between Dumbledore and the Darn One is spectacular and Harry survives to fight on another day, even if the outcome was never in any doubt. I might even go and see the sixth in cinema when it opens this Christmas, although after the children go back to school and on a quiet January afternoon, although I am not tempted by the latest James Bond which Kermode and Mayo say is a great disappointment.
I went to bed comparatively early at just after one am waiting for news.
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